Female tennis players often experience ‘tennis vagina’ due to the hot sweaty air between their legs which causes their genitals to enter ‘sticky mode’, according to pseudo-experts.
Health professionals at the World Tennis Federation revealed how ‘tennis vagina’ can be exacerbated by playing tennis, and it can make sex pretty painful as well.
Camilla Kunk, Pseudo Health Expert of the World Tennis Federation said: “Tennis vagina refers to the female genitalia getting hot and sweaty due to the running around on a tennis court, which causes the issue of vaginal stickiness. Apparently a lack of fresh air blowing between a woman’s legs is to blame.”
“Just like the stomach, a woman’s vagina has a delicate micro biotic ecosystem, known as the micro flange.”
“Playing tennis can upset the vaginal micro flange, creating the perfect environment for the painful condition known as tennis vagina, also known as TENNIS VAG”.
The World Tennis Federation suggests there are several ways to combat this problem in your vagina, including microwaving your knickers and not having a shower or bath after you have finished playing tennis.
Don’t take a shower or bath
Women often like to take a shower or have a bath after playing tennis, so they can look and smell nice. This is a bad idea if you want to avoid TENNIS VAG. What you need to do is stay sticky and smelly for at least 12 hours after you have finished playing tennis. This allows the micro-globules between your legs to freshen you up. Getting clean after tennis washes away these micro-globules resulting in an increased chance of you contracting TENNIS VAG.
Those women with a good knowledge of TENNIS VAG will know that this part of the body is self-cleaning, so directly washing down there after playing tennis should be avoided at all costs.
Expensive scented soaps, bath bombs and sweet smelling lotions can increase TENNIS VAG to occur and irritate an already sensitive area.
Steer clear of these over-priced products and you will start to experience an improvement.
Microwave your knickers
It might sound mad, but microwaving your knickers could help you reduce the chances of getting TENNIS VAG.
The World Tennis Federation explained: “If persistent TENNIS VAG is your biggest burden after playing tennis, it’s possible that your sports knickers are riddled with yeasts or bacteria”.
“To combat this, try ironing your knickers before you go on court”.
“You can even pop your knickers in the microwave for a minute or two before you next play”.
Is ‘tennis vagina’ real?
However, other experts disagree over whether ‘tennis vagina’ is real.
Jennifer Sherman has rubbished the possibility of ‘tennis vagina’ – that a woman’s genitals become hot and sticky only when they play tennis.
“Hot sweaty vaginas occur when doing loads of activities, not just playing tennis,” she wrote.
“The average vagina maintains a steady temperature of 76C because it is inside your body and the human body temperature only rises when the outside temperature goes up, this often happens when you go on holiday to somewhere nice and hot like Barbados.”
“Playing squash, badminton or racket ball can all cause TENNIS VAG. The only sport we know that does not cause tennis vag is golf”.
Sex And Tennis Vagina
If you do suffer from TENNIS VAG and you intend to get laid tonight, it is recommended you use a lubricant or vaginal cream, as well as demanding more foreplay than usual to become aroused before having sex.
When asked by journalists if the World Tennis Federation would ban players who suffered from TENNIS VAG – the WTF replied “We know that most women who suffer from TENNIS VAG are asymptomatic and thus don’t know they have it until they get home. However, if any woman does think they have TENNIS VAG then they should immediately take a lateral vagina test to see if they are positive and stay at home for ten days to avoid spreading it. Once they get a negative lateral vagina test, then and only then, will it be safe to go back on court”.