Can I Use My Dead Cat To Restring My Tennis Racquet

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Question – G’day there WTF, I wanna know if I can put my dead cat to some good use, by using its guts to restring my tennis racquet. Let me know will ya. Cheers – Bruce from Melbourne.

Answer – Hi there Bruce from “down under”. The answer is YES, here at the WTF we thoroughly recommend you use your dead cat’s guts for restringing, instead of buying some expensive synthetic tennis strings.

We all have to do our bit to “save the planet” and if you can start recycling your dead cat, then you are helping to “save the planet”. Which will earn you extra bonus points when you get to heaven.

Obviously by not buying synthetic tennis string you might be putting someone out of a job, but that is the dilemma we all face nowadays – so the choice is yours. BUT the WTF says go for recycling and stuff the big tennis manufacturing companies – they make too much money anyway.

To assist you, the WTF has put together an easy step by step guide to show you how to strip out your cats guts and turn them into natural organic tennis strings.

  1. Slice open your cats stomach with a very sharp knife.
  2. Pull out the dead cats guts and put them on a chopping board.
  3. Prepare the cat guts by cleaning the small intestines.
  4. Make sure you clean the small intestines from any fat, and rinse them in water.
  5. Scrape off the external membrane with a blunt knife.
  6. Soak the intestines again for some time in potassium hydroxide.
  7. Smooth out and equalize the intestines by drawing them out.
  8. Twist the prepared cats guts strands together to make string.
  9. Tennis string diameter is determined by the thickness of the individual cats guts, and by the number used.
  10. After twisting and drying the guts, polish the cat gut tennis strings to the required diameter.
  11. After drying and polishing, you can bleach and disinfect the cat gut tennis strings using sulfur dioxide.
  12. As an added bonus, you can dye them if necessary, and sort them into sizes.

Well Bruce, we do hope this helps you do something with your dead cat that is good for the planet. Take care and don’t forget to put another shrimp on the barbie.

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