Author: Admin

A 2.1 magnitude earthquake has shaken large areas of the country, damaging some tennis clubs and forcing people to stop playing tennis for up to 45 seconds. The earthquake took place at 11:20am on Wednesday morning, causing concern and wobbles from tennis players who were on court at the time. The World Tennis Federations earthquake specialist Damien Doors said “luckily, there have been no reports of any serious injuries to any tennis players”. This scary earthquake was also felt ay local golf clubs and supermarkets. Later in the day, the 2.1 magnitude earthquake was followed by three aftershocks of 1.1…

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Question – Hello WTF. Could you tell me if I should tip my tennis coach and by how much? Thank you, Trinny From Buckinghamshire. Answer – Hello Trinny, thank you for your question. To help answer your predicament the World Tennis Federation has conducted a global survey to find out if other tennis players tip their coach. Playing tennis is known for its many facets, from getting fit, to meeting new people and of course getting drunk at the bar after your tennis game. But if there is one thing that is synonymous with the world of tennis, it’s the…

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British Police have arrested New York mafia member Tony Lombasto – also known as ‘Soft Hands Tony’ working as a level 3 tennis coach in rural England. Tony Lombasto is responsible for killing 7 men and 1 woman and throwing their chopped up bodies into the Hudson River. ‘Soft Hands Tony’ was convicted of beating to death a rival mafia gang with a hammer in a Sicilian pasta restaurant more than 18 years ago. He was arrested by British police earlier this morning in a dawn raid, after detectives discovered he was working as a tennis coach at a tennis…

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Tennis players have been left shocked after they spotted a blonde lady making OnlyFans content at a local tennis club. They said they felt weird after witnessing the incident. One of the witnesses – Jimmy Johnson – told the World Tennis Federation what happened: “I was walking past tennis court number 5 last night at 10pm, when I turned my head and I saw a blonde lady completely naked making content for her OnlyFans account.” “It was so strange. I was walking to the exit gate at my tennis club, and the path goes past court 5. Even though the…

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Astonishing news from the USA today, when it was announced at the Library Of Congress that officials had found original documentation to prove that Leonardo Da Vinci invented the tennis racket. It had always been thought that the original tennis racket that we know today was invented by Major Walter Clopton Wingfield, when he patented the first modern version of the game of tennis in 1874. With this new information, it now appears the tennis racket was invented over 350 years before originally thought. The chance discovery only came to light when a researcher at the Library of Congress was thumbing through…

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The World Tennis Federation has demanded that Long Mumbles tennis club be shut down immediately due to the ‘large amount of criminal activity and social disorder’, occurring in the club house every weekend. After a torrent of disgusting crimes were reported to the World Tennis Federation, including drug dealing, fights between the tennis players and sex acts on courts 3 and 4, all contributing to ‘uncontrolled total chaos’ at this once lovely tennis club. If the WTF get their way, then Long Mumbles tennis club will be forced to close, and hundreds of tennis members will forced to go and…

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An analysis of sexual experiences by World Tennis Federation reporter Mr Wayne Karr. Let me share something with you – sexual affairs are very common at tennis clubs. In fact, it’s highly likely you already know several of your tennis buddies who have had an affair. It’s happening at your tennis club right now, amongst your tennis friends, and you’ve probably got a best buddy who is currently with someone they shouldn’t be. My earliest memory was from a weekend tennis camp when two (separately) married tennis coaches got caught in the same bed together by a tennis friend of…

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A professional tennis player has reportedly been arrested at Heathrow airport after customs officers found 1000kg of cocaine hidden in their luggage. This un-named professional tennis player and their partner were arrested by UK Border Force staff at Heathrow airport in London on Monday having been found with 1000kg of cocaine stuffed into their suitcases. The yet to be named international tennis player was remanded in custody and will appear in court charged with smuggling offences later this week. British tabloid newspapers report that the partner of this professional tennis player was released and not charged with any smuggling offences,…

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Chipping Head Tennis Club, which is believed to be one of the oldest tennis clubs in the world, is being haunted by a spectre of an ex (now dead) tennis club member, Angela from the committee said. Angela stated that a ghost is haunting Chipping Head Tennis Club – with tennis balls whizzing across courts 1 and 2 and the ladies toilets being flushed on their own. Angela Compte (allegedly 39) said the spooky events at the Chipping Head Tennis Club had mostly taken place on the two tennis courts next to the club house, leaving club members “shitting their…

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Question – How easy is it to bribe a tennis umpire?. Thank you. Jimmy Spaghetti. Answer – Hello Jimmy, thank you for your question. The answer is very straight forward – it is so simple to bribe a tennis umpire and the WTF have done undercover tests to prove this. Earlier this year, the World Tennis Federation sent an undercover detective – who pretended to be the parent of an up and coming tennis player – to try and bribe as many tennis umpires as possible. Out of 120 tennis umpires they approached – 92% accepted a bribe. The only…

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