Earlier today a 44 year old male tennis player was rushed to hospital after shoving 2 tennis balls up his bum last night, and now the only way to remove them from his anus is for doctors to ‘analy suck them’ out of his bum.
The strange event occurred in the very quaint and rural village of Long Mumbles in the heart of England.
Due to legal (and embarrassment) reasons, the World Tennis Federation is unable to name the person involved, but we can confirm that he is a male aged 44 years and according to hospital doctors, he does have a history of finding things up his bum “by accident” – although he admits he does get “sexual gratification” from things being inserted into his anus.
The male individual told WTF reporters that this tennis ball blockage had stopped him from going to the toilet for three days, but that he was still able to fart.
When he tried to take the tennis balls out of his bum he failed miserably, but luckily doctors who, after giving the man an X-ray, were able to suck the tennis balls from his anus with a large vacuum pump.
The doctors used the “hard suck” method on this man, which means ramming a hose right into his lower intestine and then turning it onto “maximum suck”.
The process took around four hours to complete and when the tennis balls were removed from his anus they were then given a wash and were found to be in a good enough condition to be played with.
Doctors have asked the WTF to inform their readers that sticking tennis balls up your bum is not a good idea and could prove fatal. If you do wish to stick something up your bum, stick to something small like a squash ball which will easily pop out.