Question – Hello WTF, when I play tennis matches I would like to find out beforehand if my opponent is a “nutter”. Please can you tell me how to identify psychopath tennis players – thank you James Saville.
Answer – Hello James. Yes, this is a very common occurrence in the world of tennis. There are some tennis players who appear to be completely nice and normal off court. But, once they get on court they turn into horrible human beings, who must win at all costs – including possibly causing anyone who comes near them some serious physical harm.
Dr Tracy Bongham of the University Of North Croydon has drawn up a list of things that might identify if your tennis opponent is a psychopath.
- Do they hardly ever blink and just stare at you – then yes, they are a psychopath.
- Do they foam slightly at the mouth when serving – then yes, they are a psychopath.
- Do they have a random twitch on the side of their face – then yes, they are a psychopath.
- Do they say things like “you are going to die” – then yes, they are a psychopath.
- When they lose a point do they scream and shout and go very red – then yes, they are a psychopath.
- Do they say things like “I once beat Roger Federer when I was on holiday in Switzerland” – then yes, they are a psychopath.
- When they double fault, do they say “mother, help me mother” – then yes, they are a psychopath.
- Do they mutter under their breath “I know where you live” – then yes, they are a psychopath.
We do help this information helps you to identify if your tennis opponent is a psychopath. And our final top tip is, if you do end up playing a tennis psychopath – chuck the game – it will be safer for you and your family.
