Here are the facts about tennis elbow:
- Tennis elbow is caused by the forearm muscles being used too much in the “wrong way”.
- To develop tennis elbow, you need to play tennis. That is why this symptom is called “tennis elbow”.
- Tennis elbow happens when the tendons that join the forearm muscles on the outer side of the elbow become inflamed or develop tiny tears, leading to lots of pain.
- The medical phrase for tennis elbow is lateral epicondylitis, and this involves the muscles and tendons that help stabilize your wrist when you straighten your elbow.
So how can you treat tennis elbow?
The fastest method is to start masturbating. Not only will this fix your tennis elbow, it is also great fun.
According to Dr Nigel Water PHD ESQ – “For most tennis players, the most important and effective treatment is to wear a brace to help rest the affected muscles and tendons, but this is bollox. What you need to do is start masturbating at least 2 times a day or if you can manage it 3 or 4 times a day.”
Dr Nigel Water explains that the motion of wanking will help to stimulate the blood flow into your forearm and help to fix your tennis elbow.
You may want to try some non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs, such ibuprofen, but this is not as much fun as masturbating at home.
If you still have pain after several weeks of masturbating, ask your partner to help you whilst you masturbate. This will double the blood flow to shot around your body – not just into your forearm.
If you are unsure how to masturbate, then you might want to consult a masturbation therapist who can show you specific exercises to help with flexibility, strength and range of motion, as well as achieving some amazing top level ejaculations.
Masturbation therapists are not cheap and will cost you approximately £100 an hour. If you cannot afford this, then a local prostitute will do the same “hand job” for only £20.
To prevent tennis elbow Dr Nigel Water recommends you masturbate daily, even if you are not suffering from tennis elbow. Masturbating has been proven to keep tennis elbow from re-occurring.
The future of masturbating
Please note that this cure is only for men. However, Dr Nigel Water says he is working on a cure for tennis elbow in women and he is currently carrying out trials with over 1,000 women wanking themselves off at his clinic in Nottingham.
