Following the passing of the Tennis Equality Act in Parliament last week, it is now illegal for tennis clubs to ban zombies from playing tennis.
Prior to the Tennis Equality Act coming into effect, it was very common to see tennis clubs excluding zombies from participating in the number one global sport.
However, due to the tireless campaign by Judy “the sporan” McTavish of Glasgow – zombies can now play tennis whenever and wherever they like.
Even though the World Tennis Federation welcomes this change in the law, it has issued some guidance to tennis clubs around the world to keep players of all description safe.
- playing tennis doubles with zombies is not advised as they may try to eat other “non zombie” players
- there is no point having a defibrillator on court – as the zombies are already dead
- zombies should only play tennis at night, when it is dark and scary – plus the courts will be empty
- zombies should not hit tennis balls too hard – otherwise their arms might drop off
- zombies will be allowed two bounces per shot – because they move really, really slowly
